CAPEWATCH: NIGHTSTAR

If it wasn't bad enough, Right Thinkers, that we have the vapid wealthy liberantes like Oliver "Green Arrow" Queen deciding that they have the right to not only throw their money around but also shoot lethal weapons at ordinary citizens, we've also got brainless bimbos like Nightstar who are models by day and -- how about that, they're also murderers by day!

   

Protector of the Innocent indeed

Folks, if you've never seen this alien blowup doll in action, count yourselves lucky. The people at WAVES Magazine got to know up close and personal what kind of folly there is in letting the ninnies and nincompoops of society run free playing sooperhero. Insider sources of this beach focused mag tell GGG that Mari "Nightstar" Gai-Son was set to have some kind of semi nudie photoshoot there, bikinis and balls and blankets oh my, when instead of her high beams being on display her intensely star powered energy bolts decimated the place and killed two people.

Yes, you read that right. She showed up to display her breasts for money and instead went into a rage and slaughtered two innocents.

According to one of the makeup artists who gave us this exclusive information, Nightstar went off the deep end for no reason in particular. Please note that we are using this quote verbatim for journalistic objectivity, and these are not the words of GGG Omnimedia:

“She must have thought doing a beach shoot meant she should show up surfing the crimson wave, because bitch was serving Oppa Gangsta Style with a side dish of scrambled brains. Screaming in Korean, shooting those fire blasts everywhere – she didn’t care who got in her way, she just wanted to clean house. Because she knew none of us could stop her.”

This account was corroborated by another makeup artist. And before you take the word of Greeting Assistant Latoya Bishop, who’s been telling the press that the real culprit was some unnamed, unidentified, superpowered version of the one-armed man, please keep in mind that GGG Omnimedia took a statement from her as well and found that what Miss Bishop didn’t mention is that she has bills from beauty school and secretarial school to pay off, and yet seems to be able to afford fancy weave hairstyles and manicures. I’m not saying that she took a kickback to spread false information, Right Thinkers, but I know you all have the reasoning skills to draw your own conclusions.

My conclusion? There's never been a more urgent time for us to raise our voices, to raise awareness. To let the country know that we aren't going to be policed by a bunch of violent idiots who answer to nobody but themselves and their own morally bankrupt gang. What do we want? We want our god-given RIGHTS, NOT TIGHTS.