RETHINK! - An Interview with the "Mad" Hatter

Guess what, RIGHT THINKERS! I was approached by Dr. Jervis Tetch, the so-called Mad Hatter, to tell his side of the story when it comes to being chased down and persecuted by the superzeros and in specific the Bat-Clan. He had some illuminating things to say, all right!

Does this look like a madman to you?

GGG: You've been hunted by the Batman and his little group for years. Why? Surely you must be some kind of massive threat to society to draw such interest?

JT: Not in the slightest! There may have been a time when I was misguided, as anyone might be when life treats them unfairly. I'm a genius, Godfrey! And yet because of my unfortunate appearance, practically a pig baby or a mome rath, our modern culture of "looks before brains" has kept me down, treated me poorly. Who wouldn't balk under that heavy cloud of judgement? It's as if life has constantly broken my brand new rattle!

GGG: I see what you're saying, Hatter. But haven't you done some reprehensible things while you were suffering through your misguided stage? Hurt people, committed crimes?

JT: Yes, yes, I have, I did, I broke, I slid. But any man makes mistakes, doesn't he? And once he gets better, comes to his senses, stops living life in the looking glass, isn't he allowed to atone? To do better? Not if you live in Gotham, you don't! You can do your time in Arkham according to the people and the law, but not as far as the Bat is concerned!

GGG: You're telling me that even though you've served the sentence that was given to you by an American court of law and a jury of your peers, the Batman still hunts you down?

JT: I'm going to tell you something that nobody else is brave enough to say, calloo callay. The Batman? He's a cult. That's what he's got all those little bread-and-butter flies running about doing his bidding for. They're brainwashed, washed right out clean, nothing in there but twinkle twinkle bats flying about telling them what to do--

GGG: Hold on here! All those creepy cohorts working with the Batman: Batwoman, Nightwing, Flamebird, Red Robin, Batgirl, Black Bat, Robin. You're saying he's got some kind of psychopathic mental hold over them?

JT: Now you've got it. They're all mad there, Godfrey. The Bat has a narcissistic, Napoleonic fixation on the image he's built of himself as the protector of Gotham, and he uses this group of mindless findless grindless followers to bolster this image by "protecting" the city from regular people like me, like the Scarecrow, like Poison Ivy. All of us who've done our time, paid for our crime, lived in the grime.

GGG: The law of the land means nothing next to what the Batman has decided is punishment enough?

JT: [taps the side of his nose]

GGG: This has been disturbing but illuminating, Dr. Tetch. Thank you for granting me this interview, and letting all of us RIGHT THINKERS know the real scoop behind this dangerous cult leader who calls himself the Batman.

RETHINK! for yourselves: "Villains"

One thing I urge ALL of my RIGHT THINKING friends to do is to question what they've been told over the years by members of the Just Us League.

That's why these entries are called RETHINK!

We need to start coming to conclusions for ourselves, not just swallowing what the superzero set tells us. Take, for example the "Rogues". These are a bunch of beleaguered, well meaning fellows who even speed freak The Flash doesn't view as an actual threat, yet they're forced to hide and cower because they've been labeled "villains"!

Look at these poor guys:

The Flash even HANGS OUT with them

They look more like the Brady Bunch than the Manson Family.

If you talk with any of these Rogues, they'll tell you that they all have their own sets of moral codes that they live by, and that they're as close knit a family unit as, you guessed it, the Justice League.

Maybe they're more honest about who they are. Maybe the Rogues don't aspire to call themselves "heroes" and make decisions for the rest of us average Joes from high up in a space station. Maybe THESE are more down to earth, accessible, functional members of society when all's said and done.

WORST OF THE JUST US LEAGUE - SUPERMAN

In case you're confused about which members of the Just Us League bear the most concern due to either their pea brains, un-American ideologies, or general spookiness, I'm gonna make a series of blog posts detailing each one.

First up: Superman.

The Man of Swill

A mega-powered buffoon, Superman claims to be the outer space prince of a dead race. Convenient, huh? Listening to this clown, it seems as if he thinks that HE loves America more than we normal, regular, average Joes who go to work every day and build this country do.

Can shoot laser beams from his eyes, has mega-cold breath, flies, has super strength. This bunkie is well-nigh invincible. Think about that for a minute: INVINCIBLE. And yet we let him fly around with no rules or supervision, doing whatever he wants and calling it "justice". When does Superman have to account for his actions? What tribunal or disciplinary hearings or even supervisory committee does he have to report to?

NONE!

We've been working closely with presidential candidate Lex Luthor to get the skinny on this Man in (Liberal) Blue, and from what we hear? Superman is accustomed to acting unilaterally, beholden to no man when he harasses an upstanding private citizen like Lex Luthor to satisfy his own wrong headed personal vendetta.

How much longer can we put up with this, RIGHT THINKERS?