RETHINK! - An Interview with the "Mad" Hatter

Guess what, RIGHT THINKERS! I was approached by Dr. Jervis Tetch, the so-called Mad Hatter, to tell his side of the story when it comes to being chased down and persecuted by the superzeros and in specific the Bat-Clan. He had some illuminating things to say, all right!

Does this look like a madman to you?

GGG: You've been hunted by the Batman and his little group for years. Why? Surely you must be some kind of massive threat to society to draw such interest?

JT: Not in the slightest! There may have been a time when I was misguided, as anyone might be when life treats them unfairly. I'm a genius, Godfrey! And yet because of my unfortunate appearance, practically a pig baby or a mome rath, our modern culture of "looks before brains" has kept me down, treated me poorly. Who wouldn't balk under that heavy cloud of judgement? It's as if life has constantly broken my brand new rattle!

GGG: I see what you're saying, Hatter. But haven't you done some reprehensible things while you were suffering through your misguided stage? Hurt people, committed crimes?

JT: Yes, yes, I have, I did, I broke, I slid. But any man makes mistakes, doesn't he? And once he gets better, comes to his senses, stops living life in the looking glass, isn't he allowed to atone? To do better? Not if you live in Gotham, you don't! You can do your time in Arkham according to the people and the law, but not as far as the Bat is concerned!

GGG: You're telling me that even though you've served the sentence that was given to you by an American court of law and a jury of your peers, the Batman still hunts you down?

JT: I'm going to tell you something that nobody else is brave enough to say, calloo callay. The Batman? He's a cult. That's what he's got all those little bread-and-butter flies running about doing his bidding for. They're brainwashed, washed right out clean, nothing in there but twinkle twinkle bats flying about telling them what to do--

GGG: Hold on here! All those creepy cohorts working with the Batman: Batwoman, Nightwing, Flamebird, Red Robin, Batgirl, Black Bat, Robin. You're saying he's got some kind of psychopathic mental hold over them?

JT: Now you've got it. They're all mad there, Godfrey. The Bat has a narcissistic, Napoleonic fixation on the image he's built of himself as the protector of Gotham, and he uses this group of mindless findless grindless followers to bolster this image by "protecting" the city from regular people like me, like the Scarecrow, like Poison Ivy. All of us who've done our time, paid for our crime, lived in the grime.

GGG: The law of the land means nothing next to what the Batman has decided is punishment enough?

JT: [taps the side of his nose]

GGG: This has been disturbing but illuminating, Dr. Tetch. Thank you for granting me this interview, and letting all of us RIGHT THINKERS know the real scoop behind this dangerous cult leader who calls himself the Batman.